Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Bess.

I know that I've left you all hanging a little bit about Bess, and you haven't heard anything about us getting her on the blog or seen many pictures on Instagram since last week. And the reason for that is that sadly we don't have her anymore. I'm going to make a long story short because you really don't want the details and because it's still hard for me to talk/think about. But Donny says I need to write to help me get the sadness out, and he's right. Plus, I'm starting to get questions about her. So, I want to share what happened.
The minute we got back from Texas, we headed to pick up Bess from her foster home. We had gotten her crate, food, toys, blankets, you name it. We had some wonderful friends give us gifts galore for the girl. My parents came over that night to see her while Donny was in class.
But it became almost immediately apparent that she had some severe separation anxiety. She couldn't be left in her crate for any period of time without being destructive. Not the 20 minutes it took me to go to the Chick-Fil-A drive through for lunch one day or even the 10 minutes it took us to eat dinner in the house with her. Over night was a disaster. Half a day at work was a disaster. No matter what we gave her to keep her occupied in her crate, nothing worked. She pooped and peed in her bed, she drooled on herself, she screamed bloody murder, she tore up anything that was in the bed, and tried to claw and chew her way out. 
I felt so much guilt about leaving her when I went to work because I knew it was like torture for her. Her foster mom said that she had been used to being in a crate, but only with her four brothers. Plus, she was living in a house that had a dozen animals and two adults home with her all day. Everyone said there wasn't really anything to do that we weren't doing except let it happen and hopefully she'll adjust in a few weeks. But oh my word, the days we had her were such a nightmare that I couldn't possibly see doing it for a few more weeks. I couldn't see doing that to her for more weeks or to myself. I was already so stressed out that I didn't eat for almost two whole days, which is NOT like me. I spent more hours last week crying over her than I have for almost anything in my life-- it was that hard.
So, Donny and I made the decision that she really needed to be with a family where she wouldn't have to be crated all day and I took her back to her foster home. Donny had to go to class that night, so my parents came with me, and it was one of the saddest nights of my life and hardest things I've ever done.  I don't know how I would have made it through some days without Donny and my parents.  They were all SO incredibly supportive, and I'm so thankful for the wisdom and comfort that they gave me.  
Even now, several days later, I'm still very emotional about it. I know that it was the right decision to make, but I just miss her little face.

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you had to give her back :( But I'm also happy that you realized you couldn't keep her. I hate seeing people abuse animals in that way, where they know they can't give them the love they need but they keep them anyway. You have a wonderful heart and know what you can give, and you just couldn't do that for her--it's ok!!!! She will find a home that can love her like she needs it, and you guys will find another dog that is PERFECT for you!!! :) Hang in there, it will get better!!!

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  2. I'm sure that this was incredibly hard, but you tried everything that you could. Sometimes it just isn't the right situation...for you or for the pup. You did what was best for everyone involved, but especially Bess. Don't beat yourself up over this--you made the best decision of a difficult situation!

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  3. Oh Katie, that sounds so hard and I'm so sorry! It broke my heart to read that as I know how hard it is to give up a puppy from personal experience. It does sound like you did the right thing though and I pray that she would find a home that is perfect for her and you will find a dog that is perfect for you & Donny.

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  4. We had to do the same thing for different reasons last July. It was beyond hard. I knew the pup would find a home that could meet his needs better, but it was hard. It's amazing how quickly the furbabies work their way into our hearts. Hugs.

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  5. I am so sorry you had to experience this!!! The pup is going to find a home where she fits in perfectly. At least you recognized early on how hard it was and knew she needed better.

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  6. So sad, but I hope you find peace in knowing you made the right decision for her as well as for you and Donny.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear this. My sister had a similar situation with her ex's dog. They moved it here from Colorado to be with her ex and asked me to dog sit one weekend. Well little did we all know that the dog had separation issues to where it tore a hole in my parents wall (the place I was watching it) and did a lot like the above. She then went and did it at another house she was staying at. They ended up sending her back to Colorado where she now lives outside and just isn't her normal self.

    Its hard to do that but sometimes its for the better. The pup will find a home where its meant to be one day and you guys will find another pup who's meant to be a part of your home.

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  8. That is so hard! I love that Donny encourages you to write and is so supportive of all you do. That is my happy take away from this post. Hang in there!

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  9. I'm so sorry!! I know this must have been so hard for you! :( I'm glad you were able to get your feelings out though. Love you!! **hugs**

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  10. I am behind on reading so apologize this is late but I am so sorry. Ries has seperation anxiety too..that's why I have two but Ries was never that severely upset. Just know that you are in my prayers and when you are ready, even of you don't think you are ready, God will send you a furbaby.

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