I know that I've left you all hanging a little bit about Bess, and you haven't heard anything about us getting her on the blog or seen many pictures on Instagram since last week. And the reason for that is that sadly we don't have her anymore. I'm going to make a long story short because you really don't want the details and because it's still hard for me to talk/think about. But Donny says I need to write to help me get the sadness out, and he's right. Plus, I'm starting to get questions about her. So, I want to share what happened.
The minute we got back from Texas, we headed to pick up Bess from her foster home. We had gotten her crate, food, toys, blankets, you name it. We had some wonderful friends give us gifts galore for the girl. My parents came over that night to see her while Donny was in class.
But it became almost immediately apparent that she had some severe separation anxiety. She couldn't be left in her crate for any period of time without being destructive. Not the 20 minutes it took me to go to the Chick-Fil-A drive through for lunch one day or even the 10 minutes it took us to eat dinner in the house with her. Over night was a disaster. Half a day at work was a disaster. No matter what we gave her to keep her occupied in her crate, nothing worked. She pooped and peed in her bed, she drooled on herself, she screamed bloody murder, she tore up anything that was in the bed, and tried to claw and chew her way out.
I felt so much guilt about leaving her when I went to work because I knew it was like torture for her. Her foster mom said that she had been used to being in a crate, but only with her four brothers. Plus, she was living in a house that had a dozen animals and two adults home with her all day. Everyone said there wasn't really anything to do that we weren't doing except let it happen and hopefully she'll adjust in a few weeks. But oh my word, the days we had her were such a nightmare that I couldn't possibly see doing it for a few more weeks. I couldn't see doing that to her for more weeks or to myself. I was already so stressed out that I didn't eat for almost two whole days, which is NOT like me. I spent more hours last week crying over her than I have for almost anything in my life-- it was that hard.
So, Donny and I made the decision that she really needed to be with a family where she wouldn't have to be crated all day and I took her back to her foster home. Donny had to go to class that night, so my parents came with me, and it was one of the saddest nights of my life and hardest things I've ever done. I don't know how I would have made it through some days without Donny and my parents. They were all SO incredibly supportive, and I'm so thankful for the wisdom and comfort that they gave me.
Even now, several days later, I'm still very emotional about it. I know that it was the right decision to make, but I just miss her little face.